Nothing like being kicked in the teeth while your already on the ground!

That's how today feels. Serves me right - seeing as I had the audacity to feel happy yesterday :D
Anywho - enough of the emo whining from me....

Just a quick update so people know I'm alive :D
I LOVE my camera. Occassionaly i take a photo that looks like I actually know what I'm doing (so dont, but hey that's why you buy a big fancy schmancy camera huh!) And maybe when I can afford internet access at home I'll upload some photos (or when the stoopid neighbour unlocks his network again!)

I LOVE studying Communication for Development. It's fun. I dont have a very wide range of adjectives at the moment but rest assure I like it! I even have new friends. I do!

I have a decent social life - nothing quite like desperation to get people inviting you to all sorts of places.

I have a new Yoga instructor - who is a Kiwi - wonderful and best of all giving me half price yoga classes :D Wiiii...

Oh and I went to the Chiropractor - I went to get my jaw adjusted - seeing as most of the time I look like I have lock jaw these days... and well - I will get my jaw fixed one day in the future. For now she concentrating on my coccyx which has shifted to the right (hense the L sided hip pain when I exercise) and the ?10vertebraes which weren't in alignment. Mostly she will be concentrating on my "disgusting" neck! Apparently its not normal to be able to crack your neck simply by tilting you head from side to side. What?? Since when???

So as I dust myself off from todays kick in the teeth (no I'm not sharing...) rest assured I will be hanging out with my new friends, taking lots of photos and wearing new clothes that show off my killer abs from all the Yoga :D

Only By The Night...

The new (highly anticipated) KOL album was leaked onto the internet on Saturday.
It's possible I have heard it, but I would never "steal" an album... So it's not like I have it on my computer or anything like that.

First impressions:
It's all about the melodies.
It's very polished.
It's new.
There's no swamp rock.
I'm not a big fan of Revelry nor 17.

I know I'm biased when it comes to this band, but trust me I've have loved bands before and chucked them for one bad album or one bad performance (can anyone say whingie whiny Adams??).

Mostly I appreciate the change. It suitably matches the changes happening in my life. It's not the sound I would choose to hear KOL play, but hey, the life I'm about to start living isn't the life I would have chosen either! In 18months when their next album comes out full of dirty guitars and that raw swamp rock sound (fingers crossed), I'll be ready to dance again... Until then I'm happy with the new sound.

p.s. Other than the teasers we had already heard (Sex on Fire, Crawl, Use Somebody) - my other standout track is Notion(and not just because the first 3 seconds sounds like Bloc Party's Like Eating Glass) and Somebody.

p.s.s. Yes, it's official. I'm a believer!

Growing Impatient....

Positivity schomisivity I say...
Where the hell is my camera??

For those not in the known I'm awaiting the delivery of a DSLR Canon 30D.

So how exactly is a girl supposed to distract herself and pretend she's happy happy happy when she's stressed that the new tennant of her old apartment has stolen her camera???????????

I'm sure it will be ok - it was only supposed to arrive today. BUT I WANT IT :D

(not that I have a lens for it or anything...)

Change... it's a blowing in the wind!.

I haven't spent much time here lately, perhaps to my detriment... or perhaps that's just the way had to be. I have written many posts on how much my life has changed in the last 18months, and well... basically the only way to descibe what has hapened is to say that the Cas you all knew and loved got swallowed up in those changes. A new language and culture, ment that everything about me changed.

Simply put, things like not knowing how to be funny and how to make people laugh, or how to sound intelligent (a push in english I know!), or how to sound like I actually know what the hell I'm doing in this world, affected me profoundly. Even when I was conversing in English, my meaning was often lost. A new language ment that I could no longer be a nurse, I couldn't go to work and know that I was doing something I was good at, nor that I was even helping people. My friendships were left behind and I didn't know how to make new ones. The list of the negatives I was dwelling on are endless. Over the last three months or so, I completely disapeared. Gone was the flawed but happy, fun loving, sarcastic, party girl!

However, change, it certainly is a happenin'!

Two weeks ago I was forced to stand alone, and on my own two feet. It hurt like a pain I've never felt before and I felt more lost than ever. Two weeks, is however, a long time when it comes to devistation. Somewhere in that time, my survival instincts have kicked in and I've managed to achieve more for myself in the last two weeks, than I had in the previous 18 months. (well me, with support from Savill and Nettan).

I've found an apartment.
I've discoverd a fantastic friend had been standing right in front of me and I just couldn't see her.
I've started my masters degree.
I'm making plans for myself and I'm not looking back.

So while it's a scary world, life it must go on.

I intend on staying in Sweden until the end of this year, and you never know - I might even come back after that. Not to continue the life I thought I would have with Håkan, but to live the life I should have been living from the start. I suspect that emotionally, Håkan left me a while ago, it just took him a little longer to do it physcially. He's angry and disapointed with who I became, and I don't blame him. I'm angry and disapointed with who I became. I'm starting to remember who I really am, and how strong I can be - if I just choose to be. I will find my way on my own and I will have fond memories of this country, ones I would never have had with him.

We can go over everything when I get home to Australia, but until then, expect posts from me about the new found pleasures of living in Sweden.

Missing you all to the moon and back xxxxxxx

That's what I'm talking about...

There is nothing quite like family... Yep a toilet break is the end of the world when it's your siblings



I am so excited for this album. It comes out of the day after my first 3day seminar for my new masters course. Oh did I mention that I started it today... yep...
and probably new place to live... I'll try to keep you updated as I go..