Here's looking at you kid!!

I wish to dedicate this blog to a new favourite boy in my life. One that I have not had the fortune of getting to know as well as I would like, but one that is going to be a big part of my life nonetheless. Augustus Liam Maloney arrived rather dramatically on 1st November, 2007 after months and months of concern and fear for both his and his mothers health. You wouldnt know it now as he is a wonderfully healthy brick of a baby who will undoubtably be a terror and a rogue whilst bringing his family and those around him endless amounts of joy.

I am honoured to say that I have been rewarded with the great privledge of becomming Augustus's godmother (from afar) this weekend. Brenda will be my proxy, and the rumour mill is buzzing with stories of my legs having never looked so great! His godfather will be the one and only Wayne Wenham, who whilst much much funnier than me, is I imagine almost as unsuited to the job of spiritual guidance as what I feel I am. Unless of course spiritual guidance can be given in the form of musical education? God is a DJ afterall??? I jest, as I am honoured to be given the role of godmother to Augustus. Not only because it is an affirmation of how highly ones presence is regarded in anothers family (by asking me to remain a constant in Augustus life I can assume they werent planning on dumping me as their friend any time soon) but also because Nicci and Scotty are strong believers in Catholicism, therefore a christening in the Moloney family is an important event.

Whilst I can not physically attend the celebration, I will assure both Nic and Scott that my presence will be stronger throughout the years to come (Scotty I know your rolling your eyes right now!) and I look forward to being a dependable figure not only in Augustus life, but also in his big bother Padraig's life!

Once again I will steal from the very talented Fiona Carson and hope that my flatery will excuse me logging into her portfolio and posting her work without her permission so that I can share a few photos of Augustus from before his birth to 2weeks after his arrival!

I'm sorry. And I hope that having the balls to say sorry wont lead to a 1975 style demise!

As I generally do in the mornings, I have just finished flicking through SMH online, and it's got me a wondering. Are the people of Australia any more ready for a leader with strong socially progressive policies, than they were in 1975?

I am a supporter of Kevin Rudd. Coming from a rural background, I know many people who are not. I also know many people who don't particularly care. I have never supported a party in particular and if I felt the next Liberal or Greens (whoever) leader was going to lead my country by listening to the people and providing the best outcomes for the majority, then I would probably vote for them. However, as it stands today, I like Kevin Rudd.

I love that he had the balls to stand up and say that previous governments were wrong to take Indigenous Australians away from their families based upon their race!
I know that I certainly do not care how good their intentions may have been. And I certainly don't think that now is time to discuss intentions. Maybe they were good, or maybe they were bordering on genocide. The point is. Thousands of children were removed from their homes because at least one of their parents were Indigenous. The were put into Orphanages/Homes where many were physically, sexually and emotionally abused.

Now as an Australian living in hope, I anxiously await to see if the apology delivered by Kevin Rudd on the 13th February, 2008, will provide the much needed platform or bridge if you like, which will enable a reconciliation between all Australians.

Saying sorry was not the sole point of my blog. Lately I have started to become concerned, as I have always believed that people of Australia are not good with change. And Rudd (thank god) is going to bring change. I find Kevin Rudds beliefs and passion to be similar to those of another Labour leader of Australia, one who also took over after a long Liberal reign, those of Gough Whitlams (although admittedly this is simply based on my interpretations of what I have read of Goughs actions in history books - I was born the year of his dismissal!). So let me draw a few other similarities in which I believe Kevin has, very early in his career as Prime Minister, made which are comparible to Gough.

1. G: Ended Conscription K: Bringing troops home from Iraq
2. G: Abolished The White Australian Policy, introduced The Self Determination Policy as well as improved access to justice for Indigenous Australian. K: Saying Sorry and focusing on bridging the gap between the vast differences between Indigenous and Non-Indigenous Australian living conditions.
3. G: Attempt to Institute government overseeing of exploitation of minerals and oil K: Ratify Kyoto Protocol

pfftt... While they are not exactly the same, as we live in different eras, you can see where I am going. Whitlam, in my opinion was somewhat of a visionary, someone who saw the importance of education, health and possibly what we now call sustainability! In a time when education had been primarily neglected for the previous 25yrs, and no-one cared for sustainability. Rudd appears to be a strong leader with his values and actions firmly stamped with social progressivism, which makes me incredibly happy. I believe it is high time an Australian leader represented change and progress. However, my beliefs are very rarely similar to that of the general public. Which is why I am left wondering, is it possible Australia is finally ready for change, or will we see Kevin Rudd dismissed in the next few years, in the same vein as Whitlam?

Transit by name, transit by nature……

It’s hard to be certain of where exactly we fit in this world, and harder still when it feels like your heartstrings are pulled in 100 different directions. I’m currently sitting in transit – literally and emotionally. Physically I’m in Abu Dhabi airport awaiting my flight to London, and emotionally I am in transit between my family, friends, home and all the familiar comforts that affords me, and my return to Håkan and to his beloved Sweden. Now I have no hesitations with regards to this return, I know that I belong with Håkan, therefore for now I belong in Sweden. However, the “transit” is what I find difficult.

It has become a fact in my life that basically I am always missing people in my heart. When I am in Sweden, I miss my family and friends, when I am with my family and friends I am missing Håkan and when I am in transit I am missing everyone. I am trying to reflect upon a blog I wrote last year while in transit in Canada. It was such an exhilarating time and I was filled with enthusiasm and for the life of me with this transit, I cant get that enthusiasm back. I am not sure if it is because of extreme exhaustion or because I know what lies ahead?? Last year I was excited, and well naive with regards to how my life would turn out in Sweden.

I am positive that this year will be a lot easier than last, however, by the same token easier than the last doesn’t mean easy. Håkan and I have both said on many occasions if we knew what we were getting ourselves into, we might not have done it. So now all I can think of, is what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right? And what didn’t break us last year, certainly made us 1000 times stronger, so I guess instead of wasting my energy trying to find the same enthusiasm and that lust for life I had whilst in transit last year, I am going to use this time to reflect on the past year and how the "difficulties" we have endured, are also what has led to provide me with a incredible relationship with a person I had no idea would prove to be so generous, loving, supportive and dependable.

So I guess here is to the not so exciting times in out lives, and may the hard work prove to bring us all wonderful wonderful things!

It may well be a long way to tipperary, cause it's a damn long way home...

Ok so I think most people know this story or bits of this story by now, but for those of you who don’t know, I will summarise as quick as I can. I left Sweden on the 23rd January via train to Copenhagen, flight to Frankfurt 6hr transit and then a flight to Bangkok. When I arrived in Bangkok my luggage was missing which I didn’t really have a problem with as I didn’t want to carry it. I checked into my hotel on Kao Sahn road and swore solemly to myself never ever ever to stay in that district again on my own. How much do you think a very blonde untanned westerner stood out as an “easy target” for hagglers. None the less I did a little shopping, had a wax and decided to have an early night. I was awake by midnight and gave up on sleep by 2.30am. By 4am I was in a taxi on my way to the airport for my “waitlisted” flight. And was still waiting at 4pm after the very incompetent decided that despite 4 seats being available and several first class seats being available I wouldn’t be getting on that plane. After 12 more hours and 22,000 BHT off I was in business class on my way to Sydney (where I had to purchase a virgin blue flight to Brisbane!)

It was a nightmare, I was exhausted, but man it was kinda nice to hang out in business for a while! Definitely would be up for that if I had the chance again – I didn’t have a flat bed, but man my knees definitely didn’t hurt either.

Arriving home was amazing. It was nice to fly into Sydney on a clear Saturday morning, and know that it was Australia Day. I felt proud and excited, and I wondered even more so if the benefits of living abroad outweigh living in Australia and being surrounded by the comforts I enjoy. Mostly being the weather. When I arrived in Brisbane, I had a very sheepish Sam leading the pack of Fo, Nat and Max, he was standing there holding a “Welcome home Aunty Cas” I felt loved and at home, and it took the edge of my tiredness let me tell you! And it certainly didnt take long untill he was entertaining me with long stories of mowing, wipper-snippering or snipper-snapping and chainsawing and dancing and singing! I then got to spend the afternoon and most of the evening with most of my closest friends and family. Despite that I could barely function, or speak. Oh well!!

I am angry at myself for not blogging every week while I was home. Because to be honest, I don’t think I can bore you for that long to explain the mixed emotions I felt during my month at home. I often felt as though I was on an emotional roller coaster, and that Nat and Fo were my grounding points (Thanks guys!). I find it difficult even now to be ascertain if the emotions I felt were real, or if they were niggling feelings enhanced by not having Håkan with me and guilt at not doing all the things I promised myself I would do. I’m sorry but some days singing and dancing to the wiggles with a 3yr old is just the only thing I want to do.

I was going to give some honourable mentions to a few people who I am not sure if I am very good at making sure they know how much I miss them. However after I wrote them out, I realised that most of these things require being said in person and not on a public blog.

So instead I say that everyone who I spent time with while I was home, I miss you dearly, and thank you for making the effort to spend some time with me. That month will give me enough strength to get through the rest of the year in Sweden, and I cant wait to spend time with you all again next year. And hopefully with the members of my family who didn’t come to the beach!!!!! Hint hint nudge nudge.


And now for some photos by my very talented sister who you can find at fionacarsonphotography.blogspot.com god bless her cottons!!!

Trying to get myself organised!!

Ok, after many a conversation about how I would most definately blog more (kerry) write more (nat and fo) and generally be much more organised and diligent through 2008 (with myself almost every day) – I figure the best way to get a jump start on that is to summarise on what I missed previously.

I did as I mention get a job. I am working as a PA to the founder of a new website aimed at helping women tranisition through their lives. In a nutshell the website aims to connect women throughout the world, whilst also essentially becomming a “google” for women (with what will be an extensive listing of resources, organisations, book recommendations etc etc so go check it out www.2balanceu.com (let me know if any of you are wanting to join, I will send you an invitation code.

As the days were growing darker and darker my spirits continued to lift out of the sundeprived depression with anticipation of Natty’s impending visit. She arrived on the 15th December and I must say, I am not sure how I would have gotten through the darkness without her visit!! We decided to drive to collect them, and it was my first trip over the Oresound Bridge! The view was spectacular it was a pity it was dark by the time we returned home ! It was of course WONDERFUL to have Natty and Alex with me, I didn’t seem to notice quite so much that we were only have 6hours of daylight and well Sweden actually pulled out some pleasant December weather (whilst I sit in Abu Dhabi airport writing this I am bracing myself for a hideous March as I believe the cyclonic wind and icy rain has arrived!!). We ate lots of wonderful food, made a couple of trips to Denmark, did lots of shopping and drank lots of cider and coffee!!

I think the highlight for the Sweden leg of our holiday would have been a visit to Krononburg Castle in Helsingor (which is actually in Denmark!) – It is where Hamlet was set and was a very unpretentious sparsely decorated Castle. Whilst the weather was not on our side that day, Helsingor is such a picturesque village that everyone seemed to grin and bear it. Chrsitmas was a double celebration, with Agneta and Claes kindly inviting us ALL to celebrate a Swedish Christmas (celebrated on the 24th December). Unfortunately the majority of Sweden’s Jul Bord (Christmas table in English) is fish based – and very strong fish i.e. smoked eel, caviar etc Whilst this type of food is a taste you need to acquire over many years it was nevertheless wonderful to be involved and welcomed. The traditional baked ham etc was still on the menu and of course no one left hungry nor empty handed (Thank you again Agnetta for spoiling us so!!!!). Christmas day was Australian Christmas, and this time I decided to treat the girls (Kel and Laura had arrived on 17th December) to Moose and Raindeer (I kid you not!). I am not convinced that Moose is best roasted, but none the less the plates were very empty and everyone very happy, merry and full!

After a night in Göteborg on the 27th we were off to Glasgow for John and Jo’s Wedding. It was so good to see Jess, Kerry, Kaz, Lib and John and Jo (obviously – they were the happy couple after all) Kieran and Val, and of course to meet Kerry’s lovely friends! We most definitely received a warm welcome to Scotland and the food and cider and good times flowed I guess you could say!
New Years Eve was spent at George’s square in the drizzle watching The View, and then on to a club with Kerry’s friends. It was a great night, and while I fell asleep on the couch (at 8am), I briefly work up at 10am when the majority of the kids headed home (and when I decided to kick the rest out!!!!).

The rest of the time in Scotland flew. We (Kaz, Håkan and myself) did however make a quick trip through the snow (only snow I have seen this winter) to Sterling, St Andrews and back to Edinburgh for dinner with Lib and Jess. When we were leaving St Andrews we decided we were starving, so what were we to do but go to the golf course and behave like we belonged there and ask for a meal :P I have long believed that if you have an accent, and you behave like it is perfectly normal for you to be there, you can pretty much get away with anything. I took the lead and strode towards the wonderfully kilted doorman, whom enquired could he help me. I explained quite matter of factly that we would like to eat in the restuarant - which just so happened to be closed. So with my two rock star and sheepish followers (Kaz and Håkan) we were escorted into the Library and given a private dinning menu. I am quite convinced that I looked like a manager/assistant to the rockstars in question, and all was dandy! To be honest the food was inexpensive considering where we were, and very enjoyable!

No for those of you who read libs - you already know the story about the haggis - for those who dont, go read Lib's blog!

After Scotland, we went down and met nat in London. Basically we only had time for a pub meal on friday night - usual transport issues ment Nat didnt arrive until around 10pm. Saturday we went to Camden (of course) which I am so glad we did as obviously it's not quite the same anymore!!!! Sunday Nat, Håkan and I went down to Banbury to visit a very heavily pregnant Leona (who has since had a little boy named Ewan) and Berners. A wonderful day, despite the hangover and more usual rail problems. What should have been a 1hr each way trip turned into a 5hr return trip. Oh well - it was an adventure.

Ok I will leave it there, and I promise to create a blog in the future dedicated to my thoughts on Bratislava and Paris. This is simply summarising, and not reflecting my thoughts on anything!!!















(and this one is from Lib's last visit in October!)

Introducing Ms Crappy McCrap Crap.....

Well actually I doubt I need to introduce myself. You all know me - generally I masquerade as Cass the organisation nazi. You know why I am the nazi that I am???? Yep that's right - cause really deep down I am crap. No other word could describe it better than this. I dont have a motivational bone in my body. If i dont do things straight away. I dont do them EVER. Well hardly ever.

I will let you in on a few things I have learnt about myself over the course of the last year.

- I will learn exactly what I need to learn, you know the bare minimum and that's it. Dont believe me? Then how come I can understand Swedish, but am too lazy to practice and become fluent in conversation? Cause I dont need to! I can order coffee, I am aware if someone is talking about me, but I wont be talking back if you know what I mean :P
- Once I stop excercising, good luck getting me to EVER start again :D
- Once I miss just one single week of blogging, I'm over it dude :D
- I will look through the rubbish bin 3 times for my house keys before I will look underneath the bed!
- I have self proclaimed prophecies which I impose upon myself and force me to misplace EVERYTHING. Well almost everything :D It's true. Very very complicated but true!!

So that's the bad stuff of my final blog for 2007 (I know it's Feb 2008 - just goes to prove how crap I have become!) and now for how 2008.......

How will i improve on all the crapness???
I will share my 2008 resolutions with you....

- Take short writing course.
- Start Rock Climbing.
- Re-enroll in masters programme (I know I am not sure how this will improve my crapness other than I will be toooooo busy to not be organised!)
- Be not crap.
- Blog more.
- Travel more and record it and share it with my friends!
- Think up schemes to make me very very very rich so I can enjoy the Australian Summer and the Swedish Spring and Summer!

ok I think that's it you get the gist! I promise to be better and to stop losing everything and not ever rely on a Thai Airways waitlist flight from Bangkok to Brisbane (stay tunned - that will be in the next blog!)

Wish me luck!