Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Hope + Cas = Delusion.

Hope. It's what gets us up in the mornings, even when it feels like things couldn't possibly get any worse (yet invariably do!).

It's also what gets most Swede's through their entire lives.

"I hope it doesn't rain today".
"I hope I get to see the sun tomorrow".
"I hope will be a little nicer weather next week".
"I hope the summer will be much better next year".

Which means right now it's now a big part of how I live my life.
Currently, my misspent energy is focused on "hoping" that the glorious spring time is here and that the evils of the "wicked winter of the west" are gone! This led me to toddle off merrily to work yesterday wearing only my jeans, boots, one pair of thin wool socks, no thermals and only one cotton singlet and a thin jumper. (Jacket for outside obviously).
Sound ok? OMG! It wasn't, it wasn't even close!

You see my hope convinces me that if yesterday was lovely spring weather, (and I can see the tulips and daffodils flowering) that today has to be spring weather also. I had convinced myself it was Spring. (stop laughing). (now). (seriously). (I was almost in tears I was so cold while walking home).

ergo....
Cas + Hope = Delusion.

Most people who know me will attest to this theory. You see, I can be a bit of a dreamer. I don't know if this stems from being a very lucky child? I won most competitions I entered (non scholastic) which perhaps means that I didn't learn the valued lesson and bitter disappointment that follows those types of losses? (My parents even benefited from $12000 worth of furniture in 1988 thanks to my luck!) (In hindsight I have no idea how winning stuff would enable my delusion???? What on earth was I thinking when I wrote that??)

Or could it just be the result of sheer stupidity? And that the stupidity is actually what causes me to believe that tomorrow will always be a better day??

I dont know what you think? I'd say the words delusion and stupid are both springing to mind??
But, do you know what, I don't care!
I quite like my delusional state. I'm keeping it.
Without it I would hide from the world even more than i do now :D

(and i know this is kinda about the weather which I said i wouldn't talk about any more, but it's not about the weather, it's about hope!!!!)

2 comments:

Mhor said...

but you will invariably freeze to death with your lovely delusions that you wish to keep.

Hope for the best - PREPARE for the worst

(ie you can always take your thermals off if it is too hot - can't put them on if you don't have them)...

Cassandra Doyle said...

ahhhh... but then what would I have to write about????