Tim Tams make me smile! Oh yes they do.

I am feeling incredibly spoilt today.
My twin sister has just sent me a box weighing 1.8kg worth of "things" from Australia.

These "things" include BONDS underware and singlets in bright summer colours - which is a great contrast to the grey which currently surrouding me in Skåne!
Mint Kit Kats
Bracelets - again in very fun, funky and bright colours!!
T-Shirts; Stubbie cooler; paintings by two of my favourite artists - Sambo & Maximo Carson.
and finally..... TIM TAMS! For those of you who watch 'How I met your mother' - Please insert the appropriate 'Awesome' here!

Fona also sent me a really cute top - but I'm sorry to say this present trumps anything at the moment!

Fun facts about Sweden!

Obviously everyone in Sweden is obsessed with the sun.
Why wouldn't they be. In winter depending on your location the daylight hours vary between 5 and 0 hours.

Vitamin D is obviously lacking - hense what starts as people feeling "fall sick" can end up as terrible depression by the end of winter. I personally believe that those who live in the middle of Sweden get the best deal - a little bit of daylight and a whole lot of WHITE! (Maybe it's just cause I'm Australian, but when I wake up to a white morning I feel giddy like a little school girl! When I wake up to a grey morning, as we mostly experience in Skåne, I want hide under the doona covers).

Anywhoo... my point is. Do you what foods which contain Vitamin D?
Herring, Mackerel, Salmon, Sardines, Tuna, Egg Yolks (and fortified foods).
No good for people like me, nor vegetarians or vegans.

Guess what Sweden have an abundance of!
Herring, Mackerel, Salmon etc etc.
Other than meatballs, these are their national dishes.
All you have to do is look at a traditional Swedish 'Jul Bord' (Christmas Smorgasbord)to understand that these are the foods that are eaten in Winter. So either nature has a way of providing what we need in our diet, or even the vikings had better knowledge of what foods they should eat in winter....

Hmmmm.... I wonder.

Who is to blame. The scardy cat in me - that's who!

One of the most difficult things for me, personally, is to approach people, rationally, and calmly, when they belittle me, or treat me like I'm incapable of well, just about anything.

Sure, I definately know how to be sarcastic, or rude to them... but to actually stop, look at them and say in a calm voice "Is there a particular reason you are speaking to me like I'm a child or that I am incompetent?"
Yeah I'm not so good at that. That requires confidence, and maturity, something I struggle with on the best of days, let alone when someone is making you feel like crap. Correction: When I am allowing someone to make me feel like crap!

I realised today that a situation I am involved in professionally - has to come to an end. It's a shame because I enjoy being involved with this project, but for some reason I don't know how to assert my competence in this situation. I allow myself to be pushed around emotionally and I literally sit there while someone over explains a meanial task to me. Seriously - today it was about me extracting an article from a magazine. What is the best way to tear it out.

What I wanted to say "rip your own f*#king article out!".
But... I just smiled and said "Ok, thanks!"

LOSER! (ME!)

Milestones... AWESOME!

I'm 33 next week.
Yep, little ol' me.
That part I'm ok about, 33 isn't old.
And seeing 40 is the new 30, well really that must make me as young as young can be. Right?

Now, as I said I'm 33 next week.
Here comes the eeekkk part!
Living in Sweden I have managed to burn through all my cash - Rack up a good amount of credit card debt and not contribute to superannuation or likes for the past (almost) 2 years. Well technically I am now contributing in Sweden, but as far as I'm aware, it's not transferable.

Crapola! I need to find some financial security for myself.
I've been in the work force for 16years - double crapola.
I haven't always worked full time, but bloody hell I'm getting close to being half way through my working life and I have nothing to show for it - well days and days worth of great stories of travelling, drunken antics, and good times - but they aren't going to put a roof over my head when I'm 60 are they!

So guess who has some SERIOUS sorting out of her financial life to do.
2009 is going to be a very big year people.

For me at least!

The Emo girl in me :D

Emo.
Emotional.
You know how the slagging goes.....

I just re-read my blog from yesterday (I know a little late now) and I did not mean for it to sound so... well... so freaking emo. In my head there were positive thoughts comming out about how the new things in your life eventually take over and you get there in the end...

I know that's not how it reads :D

But it's just that I'm emotional :D
emo...tion...al...


oh lord... please don't let me be misunderstood :D

Time... the healer of all wounds....

Is it though?
I'm not convinced that it's time.
I think friends, family, a healthy dose of denial and the ability to forget... that's what heals.

I have been doing a lot of Yoga lately, and unfortunately one of the things I find with Yoga, is that while I feel 1000 times better afterwards, sometimes during Yoga I let go of my "defense" or my "strength" if you like. The mechanism I use to convince myself that life is ok. That I am ok. That where I am headed in life will much better without Hakan....

Everybody has this mechanism, to a lesser or greater extent, it doesn't make me unique. However, when that mechanism is stripped away, the pain and the hurt that can be felt can be as strong and as fresh as day 1.

So this skeptic doesn't believe that time heals all wounds.
I do think that denial, forgetfullness, determination and spending time laughing with people who love us, unconditionally.... That definitively heals all wounds. While it may take time to heal - time without those other factors - heals nothing.

So for the next 6 weeks I am going to continue enjoying Sweden and it's currently grey weather... then I'm going to come home to those people who do love me unconditionally... and then start to heal my wounds!!!

6 weeks... and I'm almost getting sad to leave sweden... but summer here i come :D

What is one's worth?

While I never thought I was worth my weight in Gold... I got a little bit of a suprise when inquiring about my "market value" on the swedish job market.

Over the past year or so I have been enlighted - considerably - to the politics of gender equality. I've been made to belive that it's not that women are actually paid less for the same work - it's more to do with the fact that we accept the amount offered and then don't or won't negotiate. Seems pretty straight forward, right? So with this knowledge in mind, and a new job (second job) I was trying to work out - how much am I worth?

Now I knew that I had to come up with a figure, my new boss had asked me, and was not letting anything slip re: what she's willing to pay. So while keeping my new found "enlightenment" at the forefront of my mind, I decided to ask a male, rather than female: one who is younger(in the hope of more progressive male), less educated, and in a role that could be considered on the same payscale as mine.

me: "What do you think I should ask for?"
him: *considering*.... Hmmm.... maybe 110kr/hr"
me: "Is that what you earn?"
him:"No - I earn 130kr/hr".
me: "Why do you think I'm worth 20kr/hr less than you? I've more working
experience, I have a better education, I am studying a masters degree in
communication, and considering part of my job will be writing - dont you think
that counts?"
him:"Why did you ask me if you don't want to know what I think?"
me: "Good point - I thought I wanted to know what you think, I guess I just didn't
expect for you to undervalue me...."

So guess what I did. I got in contact with a friend I study with. I told her what I was doing etc - ask her what she thought... She said - ask for 130kr/hr. That way it is a low enough wage to ensure you still get enough hours, yet high enough for you to feel valued!

So much for the belief that females devalue themselves :D
Perhaps it's a male behind the "theory" of gender equality and politics?????

p.s. I UNDERVALUED MYSELF! I got offered more hours because she had expected me to aks for 120-130kr after tax. Damn it - that's really what I need isn't it - to work more hours for less pay!!! Hahahaha - I will be renegotiating in the future!

Some people never learn...

That's right.
Never.
Ever.
Ever.
not in their long legged life.

I caught a virus on my computer on sunday, it resulted in me having to do a system restore of my computer, which luckily still enabled me to kept the majority of my files, bar recent downloads etc. I knew I needed to back my computer up and then restore the factory settings, but... well... I dont have enough memory anywhere to do this... so basically I didn't.

Guess what happened monday.
I lost my assignment. It took me 2hours to retrieve :(
So my solution = turn on autosave... seeing as my computer is unrealiable.

Guess what happened tuesday.
My computer crashed and all temp files and recent changes were corrupted.
Trust me - i even ran restore programs...
Nothing was bringing this file back to life.
I even followed the advice of "hack college" who assured me that no file is truely lost... everything can be retrieved.
OH REALLY??

So as you can imagine I wasted a whole lot of time, and then rewrote the assignment anyway.

Guess what - well actually you might have already you guest it.
I still haven't backed my computer up....
LOL!

But I think I wrote an ok assignment! Damn it's harder than it used to be :D

Nothing to see people!

Sad isn't it.
I'm newly single, living in europe and I have nothing to report.
Damn - how the hell did that happen?

Although I can finally attest that the alleged "Australia Community" living in Malmo is not in fact an urban myth - it is alive and kicking, and I have found a way to infiltrate it! Well so to speak. Tomorrow night I'm going to the Malmo AFL end of season dinner. LOL! A footy banquet - in Sweden...

I have some photos that I will post soon - they were taken at the filming of Me & Nettan's music video for it's time...
When I get a chance...
I'm slack slack slack....
I'm busy doing nothing you see (or nothing exciting perhaps!)

My first assignment is due on Tuesday - as usual I haven't even decided what I will write about. Damn.... wish me luck!!!